All Night Mambo!

Because there are still people in the world who despair and think they are alone. Because people think I’ve been saved, cured or finally met the right man. Because it is not “just a phase”. Because I am married to a man. Because I can pass. I am coming out … again.

I am Queer. By queer, I mean I am someone who falls in love with people regardless of their gender. I do not limit myself in the binary. Love is love, is love. The only choice that exists is whether or not to be happy and in love or miserable and alone. I’ve found happy and in love to be the better choice.

When I started college I was a typical boy-crazy young woman. At some point I met a woman who made my heart race, my hands tremble and my thoughts impure. She was (and still is) flirty, charming and magnetic. Throughout the next ten plus years I had girlfriends and lovers, joy and heartbreak. Although my interest in men never changed, I identified as lesbian. It was just easier and required less explanation.

Eventually I started to date more men and even had a boyfriend or two. My interest in women never changed, but I realized that identifying as a lesbian was disingenuous and required more explanation, rather than less.

Now I identify as queer and I stand before you out and proud. A Queer woman married to a man.

ETA: I just posted this to my FB. I'm nervous about it. It took me a while to strike the right balance of not too preachy and not too angry. I worked really hard to keep it positive. I have to admit I'm a little scared that someone in my family (who thought I was all better now) is going to freak at me. Not that I can't handle that fight, it's just I don't want to have to.

I just recived an email from Equality California, talking about the Department of Justice filling a brief in support of the Defense of Marriage Act. A law he promised to repeal. (Yeah I know you shouldn't believe campaign promises.)

I sent an email to the President, cribbing the sample letter EQ gave me. It reads as follows:

Dear President Obama,

I am writing to express my outrage at the legal brief your administration filed in a California Federal Court defending DOMA, the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act -- a law you promised to repeal when you were running for President.

Please stop defending DOMA, call for its repeal and instruct the Department of Justice to take any and all actions to support that position, including asking the court to strike the brief.

Sir, your broken promises are increasing. I realize that many were set aside in favor of compromise. I understand, but the hope you engendered in me that things would be different is slipping away. I implore you, do not renig on this promise you made to the people of America.

Sincerely,

NR
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Speak up people. If you support gay marriage, please let the President know.